Rooms Come in Many Forms

People meet in rooms (stick with me – I am going somewhere with this…)

Traditional rooms are found in buildings. Safe places for men and women to meet have always included ballrooms, coffee shops, bars, book stores, classrooms, and concert venues. These rooms all have four walls, usually two or more doors, any number of windows, and a ceiling. Non traditional rooms are found outside, at beaches, forests, playgrounds, ski resorts, and parks, where the walls are made of trees or rocks, and the ceiling is the sky. But now, the human race has found a whole new category of rooms in which to meet, found in a place where there are no walls or ceilings, and everyone can be as visible, or invisible, as they please.

Chatrooms, Social networking sites

Cyberspace, an infinite room, where beautiful moments come to pass with every passing minute. Don’t be left out. Click, and you’re there.

There are Bell Curves for Everything

Human beings are social animals. We need to connect with each other for many reasons, including fun, stimulation, building a business, building a network of friends, creating family, and…oh…and let’s not forget about sex. In order to begin a safe and fulfilling online dating experience, let’s study one basic idea, the “Bell Curve,”and put it to use. Human qualities are measured by intelligence, physical strength, beauty, weight, height, health, sex drive, et cetera. No two men or women are equal in any of these factors, which come in endless and fascinating combinations. The problem with dating is to find a person who is compatible along at least three basic measurements. Here is a simple technique to quickly sort through the endless number of men and women floating through cyberspace, searching.

Three Questions

Identify three things that you love to do the most, and make them as specific as possible. To say “Sports, Movies and Rock and Roll” is too vague to give you a chance to identify your special someone. Be brutally honest with yourself and develop three questions which are sure to weed out mostpeople, but will identify that someone who will be special to you. To wit:

• Do you like cricket?
• Do you like Woody Allen movies?
• Do you like the Stones?

Online meetings, like writing, need attention to detail, careful planning, and, at the critical moment, the ability to let go and run, free as an Arabian stallion on a mysterious beach! Craft your online dating style to your own most unique and wonderful qualities, and that will show you off at your best. If you don’t try to appeal to all, you increase your chances to appeal to the “one and only” who will be most special to you.

When approaching another member of the site to make an initial connection keep in mind several key points. First, you want to appear excited to meet this new person, but not desperate. Also, you want to leave the other member with the desire to respond to your post. Have him/her reaching for the reply button immediately to get in contact with you. And, of course, be genuine in your expression of interest. Fake or shallow interest will be obvious to the other member. Here are some specific techniques to get you started:

Break the ice…
Remember, this isn’t an in-person conversation where you can rely on visual cues to help you know what to say, but that’s exactly what you may want this to turn into, and wouldn’t it be nice to already have a conversation started if you should ever meet this person? So first approach the prospect with the intention to introduce yourself and make that other person laugh or smile. Tell him/her your name, especially your nickname if you have one, and mention something about yourself. This doesn’t have to be a novel, but you’ll want to mention things about yourself that make you stand out. For example, tell the other member a favorite memory that you have from one of your hobbies, not just a hobby that you like. This makes you instantly more personable than just listing off a bunch of things you like to do.

Try something like, “Hi! My name is Andy. I noticed on your profile that you like hiking. Have you ever done Mt. Quandry? Last time I hiked there we saw a herd of mountain goats. It was so amazing!….”

By approaching the member in this way you’ve done several things. First, you’ve given yourself a more personal greeting than your full name. You’ve established some small level of intimacy. Then, you’ve asked a question, which will make it much more likely for the member to respond. Lastly, you’ve told a story and instantly made yourself seem like a real person that has real memories and fun things to share. At the same time you’ve kept a very positive tone and discussed a hobby, something that you may have in common with this other person, and that maybe you could do together some day.