It is absolutely possible to be a good flirt without being corny or cheesy. You can be a flirt without coming off as cheap or predatory. You can be a good flirt no matter your age, sexual orientation, or marital status.

The important word in the phrase “good flirt” is “good“. The best flirts make others feel good about themselves. Flirtation, when it comes down to it, consists basically of a series of back-and-forth compliments. This warms the heart and makes a person feel special. To be picked out and made to feel that you are interesting and attractive is a very large compliment indeed.

Some societies, such as the American South, have had flirtation as part of the social contract for centuries. Calling a woman “ma’am” and presenting her with flowery compliments, or calling a man “Sir“, and doing the same, hearkens back to the days of Chivalry. Think of the wonderful dialogue in movies like “Gone With the Wind“, or “The Count of Monte Cristo“, for example, and you will get the idea; just modernize the words a bit.

How can you master flirting? Practice! Sit in front of a mirror and pretend. Practice with your eyes first. Practice a friendly, direct stare. Being able to look someone square in the face is essential for a successful flirt. Practice smiling with your eyes, shifting your gaze away and back to the mirror, widen them with surprise.

Practice smiling. Try a shy little smile, a big happy smile, a smile that conveys that you are surprised or interested. Remember, you aren’t perfecting facial expressions to look dramatic, but to look natural and sincere.

A good way to practice what you want to say is to do it with a friend. This may feel a bit embarrassing, but after while, it will give you the confidence to know the right things to say. After a while you will begin to have fun, and you can get good ideas from each other about what sounds flirty and fine.

Practice starting a conversation. Observe your target and see what you can learn about them. If you encounter someone at a concert, play, or movie, you have a built-in subject. Ask them a question that will lead into a natural conversation. Let the person talk and learn all you can about them.

Remember your compliments! Say something nice about their jewellery, or tie, or tennis game.

Some flirting rituals can dance of the head of a pin. These can be a game of wits, where each person says something a bit more provocative without going “over the line”. This is advanced stuff, and you shouldn’t attempt it unless you are sure of your flirting skills.

Don’t attempt flirting when you’ve had a bit too much to drink. Successful flirting depends on having your wits about you and having control of the situation.

Remember, every romance started on that first encounter; why not take the initiative with an interesting stranger and see what happens?